Action Steps

What is the first thing parents should do when they find out their child has been using?

• The first thing is not to panic. Remember, "You're Not Alone." As clearly as you can, think carefully. Do not over-react. Call your pastor, a close friend or person whom you know will pray for you. Get to a counselor who understands the implications of drug/alcohol use/abuse.
• The age of the child is a factor in what you do. But do not wait.  Get to work on finding help and support for the rest of the family and the addict.
• It is important to be with someone who understands drugs or alcohol. You need expertise at this point. Try to avoid those who will meddle, preach or ask why instead of helping you find answers.
• Some families have found great help and wisdom in having a drug counselor do an evaluation on the child. The counselor can tell if there is experimentation, use or abuse and if the child is "at risk."  The counselor will explain the differences among experimentation, using and abusing and tell the parents whether a treatment program is necessary.

My child is in junior or senior high and using. What do I do?

• Find out how much he/she is using, when, where and with whom.
• Tough love is not a cliché. When a child is still living under your authority, you must take action.
• One father says, "It's not a time to caretake, negotiate, rationalize, or be a wimp. Figure out a plan and work it. The plan has to be thought out objectively, maybe with a friend or counselor, because addict kids can be so manipulative. We never want to think our kids lie to us. In the midst of emotions, we lose objectivity and the impact of the decisions we need to make and maintain."

I feel helpless knowing my child might be an addict.  How do I start getting help?

• Some parents found great help in talking to the school counselor.
• Again, we cannot emphasize enough the value of seeing a drug counselor.
• Remember, abuse is not always addiction; it can be the result of succumbing to peer pressure.

My child is not yet an adult and is living in my home. The police say I will go to jail if I do not control him/her. What do I do?

• This is a very real issue in some states. We recently advised a couple to reiterate the rules of the home, which included NO use whatsoever of drugs or alcohol. Further, we advised the parents to tell the child that if use continued, the garage would become his/her bedroom until he/she were of legal age, at which time he/she would be escorted from the property.
• Parents have the right to retain their dignity and standards.